'you can weather everything', phoebe was telling him, 'even if the trust is violated, if it's owned up to. then you become life partners in a different way, but it's still possible to remain partners. but lying -- lying is cheap, contemptible control over the other person. it's watching the other person acting on incomplete information -- in other words, humiliating herself. lying is so commonplace and yet, if you're on the receiving end, it's such an astonishing thing. the people you liars are betraying put up with a growing list of insults until you really can't help but think less of them, can you? i'm sure the liars as skillful and persistent and devious as you reach the point where it's the one you're lying to, and not you, who seems like the one with the serious limitations. you probably don't even think you're lying -- you think of it as an act of kindness to spare the feelings of your poor sexless mate. you probably think your lying is in the nature of virtue, an act of generosity toward the dumb cluck who loves you.'
in everyman, 2006